I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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