Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
