They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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