you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
