just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
