I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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