bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
