Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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