Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
