I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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