Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
