Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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