i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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