My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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