arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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