Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
