Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
