maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
