it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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