should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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