I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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