perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
