Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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