Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
