Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
