he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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