Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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