Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
