I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
