my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
