Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
