where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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