y did u give ur computer a hand job?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories