Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?