Your mouth is God's brothel.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
