who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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