i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
