idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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