dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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