Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
