i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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