So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
