just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
