I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
