He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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