We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
