fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
