Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
