dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
