part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
