Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize