Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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