Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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