What a fucking waste of an outfit
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
