True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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