I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
