went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
