you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.