I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets