Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.